From one special needs parent to another – here’s 5 reminders to reflect on during quarantine:
You wouldn’t be a good parent if everything was in its place. That is what an early intervention therapist said to me after I had apologized about the crumbs on my carpet and the unfolded piles of laundry on the couch. She said it would raise concern if she walked in and saw a spotless home. That changed my perspective on trying to obtain unattainable goals.
We’re not equipped with teacher assistants and aids in our home so let’s not be so hard on ourselves. Messy mishaps and a hectic home is the norm; it’s inevitable really. Perfection is not real – most of us know that, right?
Less tantrums will result. (And, you’re welcome in advance)
Do what is comfortable within your own self followed by doing what you know keeps your family at a sane level. Steer clear of what you’re not able to do and view everything that you are able to do.
Encourage your self-esteem because you deserve to feel emotionally and mentally supported. Look into a mirror and stare at yourself (just give it a try!) and affirm that you love you. Say “I love you insert your name here.”
It may seem silly, but the truth is a lot of what you do goes without notice and thanks so sometimes if you want something done right you just have to do it yourself. Self-love without guilt. Easier said than done, but it’s a survival technique that’s free and life saving.
Yes, it’s human nature to compare your child(ren) to the next, however, it is the furthest thing from what is healthy. So unplug. Disconnect from anyone or anything that makes you feel agitated or fear or worry.
Take as many time-outs as you need. After all we need a lot of strength to raise our children in this demanding society.
Our society is demanding. The pressure families face allow zero time to recoup or process things within a reasonable manner. Yet, somehow, we keep moving on.
When the worries and fears of tomorrow creep into the brain, repeat that phrase to yourself. The weight of the world will slightly lift up and off your shoulders allowing you to live with some sense of ease.
Written by: Mother to Girius (age 9) and Crosby (age 8)